Added: Shalee Frew - Date: 03.02.2022 19:47 - Views: 35011 - Clicks: 7580
Pat Benatar coined one such memorable phrase in her song from which I borrowed the title for this column. You wrap my heart around your little finger … sex, sex, sex as a weapon. Stop using sex as a weapon. How do married couples use sex as a weapon?
What does that even mean? Is Pat Benatar just your typical disturbed rock star who has twisted views? No, as a matter of fact, Pat hit the nail right on the head. Professionals declare this to be the most prevalent way that sex is misused when it should, instead, be a means to create intimacy. Using sex as a weapon is the primary cause of sexual dysfunction within marriage, and both men and women are guilty of doing so.
If not addressed, sexual dysfunction often le to divorce. Typically, men want sex more than women do. The one who wants sex the least is the one who is in control, and this is how women use sex as a weapon—to manipulate. To manipulate means to coerce people into doing what you want by promising to give them something they want. For example, if you buy me this, I will reward you with sex. For the married couple, sex is synonymous with affection—something that should never be bought or sold for this simple reason: What happens when a husband cannot pay?
This le to the darker side of manipulation—punishment. To punish someone sexually is to deny them—deliberately. The intention is to hurt, to wound, to retaliate for not getting what you want.
It stems from pure selfishness and is a way to gain power. This is what people do with weapons—inflict damage, cause pain. Women desire sex, but men need it. A husband has promised to be faithful to one woman; if she refuses to meet his sexual need and his vows keep him from seeking another, she is inflicting cruel and unusual punishment for services not rendered. There are several ways to punish a husband sexually.
When a wife stops treating her husband like a lover and starts treating him like or a handy man, the passion can fade.
This, too, can be a type of sexual punishment when it is done deliberately. It may seem a bit shallow, but the simple truth is this: Men are visual creatures; they are attracted first and foremost by what they see. To ignore this is to lose touch and not care what your partner likes.
Because men typically desire sex more than women do, their tactics are the opposite. This, too, is manipulation—coercing someone into doing something you want them to do. Again, we chuckle, as this is very common behavior in the marriage arena. What happens when a wife cannot pay?
Fatigue is the primary hindrance. This, combined with a long, hard day at work or caring for demanding children, can be quite exhausting. Hormone fluctuations can cause mood swings and irritability. They can cause headaches. And they can cause bloating, swelling, and other uncomfortable sensations that make a woman feel anything but sexy. A loving, devoted husband needs to be aware of these realities and not punish his wife for physical elements beyond her control by withholding tenderness or attention, which is her primary need. This is extremely important to remember, always. For a woman to want and enjoy sex, she Beautiful women seeking sex Rifle feel connected to her husband, and this is done through communication, so take the time to talk with her.
And men, too, sometimes use sex as a weapon by threatening. Threatening to go elsewhere. Threatening to leave. Threatening to seek porn. Blaming her for his bad behavior. Using sex as a weapon turns intimacy into warfare. Trying to manipulate your partner will only drive the partner away.
Sex is the greatest gift of marriage; it is meant to be enjoyed, cherished, featured, and respected. It is what makes marriage unique among all other relationships—best friends with benefits—for life! It will instead be what it was intended to be in the first place by the God who created marriage: a beautifully exclusive consummation of deepest affection.
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